Simply Beyond

Cyn Sweeney: 00:06

Hey, Cis! It's a weekly shakedown of the binary walls around us.

Isaac Cook: 00:10

Breaking it out and building a bridge.

Cyn Sweeney: 00:12

Checking our biases with empathy and humility and questioning the status quo.

Isaac Cook: 00:17

So building allyship that's intentional and confident.

Cyn Sweeney: 00:22

I was signing up for, like, a music account somewhere and were asking for my gender. And they did have a line saying prefer not to say, which I thought was great. But I kinda thought, like, really I mean, I can see age demographic that way. Mhmm. But are guys listening to music that are so different from like, do we have to gender our listening preferences?

Cyn Sweeney: 00:42

Because, like, I would have quite a big mix. Like, I I would not be stereotypical female

Isaac Cook: 00:48

Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 00:48

Music. I I don't think if

Isaac Cook: 00:50

Yeah. I think gender is definitely a die dying, like, demographic to to use in, like, statistics. Like, for instance, like, even if you're looking at, like, Stats Canada, like, things, like, they they might have, like, male, female, other, and then they might track, like, how many individuals of the other are actually responding or how many individuals might identify as something other than the binary. But I think that's the only type of information most people really track nowadays is, you know, like, you're not gonna be like, oh, women age such and such, and then you can directly target women like that. Like but I work a lot in marketing and communications, so, you know, looking at statistics, I I never ever consider gender to be a factor.

Isaac Cook: 01:28

Like, I don't know I don't know how you would tailor something towards a specific gender nowadays because It's really tricky.

Cyn Sweeney: 01:35

Like and you'd say, for example, for a company, like, if you're an insurance company

Isaac Cook: 01:40

Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 01:40

It's like, are you asking for gender, or are you asking for sex as assigned at birth? Because say, you know, statistically, I guess, testosterone can be linked to young drivers being more reckless and that, but that, you know, there are females that, you know, that have testosterone and men Yeah. And so, like, what are you really asking?

Isaac Cook: 02:03

You know? That's yeah. And that's and that's another, like, really important question. Like, what are you asking? Because there are sometimes when I'm answering those and, I mean, I identify as non binary.

Isaac Cook: 02:12

So I'm like, if there's no other, like, sometimes I'm like, I'm like, where what do I click? And I think and more often than not, I will click female because I like, especially if it's medical or, like, statistic based and also especially if it's involving, like, car insurance because if you identify as a female, you get cheaper car insurance. So Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 02:36

Here we go.

Isaac Cook: 02:37

So Yeah. I milk that a little bit as a trans person. Why not?

Cyn Sweeney: 02:41

There are certain things. There has to be some

Isaac Cook: 02:44

Yeah. There has be some benefits to being trans. You know?

Cyn Sweeney: 02:47

But if they're looking for real data too, like, often, I'll just check check the other because it's like, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna throw it out there.

Isaac Cook: 02:54

So Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 02:54

If you all you're collecting from that is people that don't wanna be gendered, you're not actually collecting Authentic. Like, this person must be trans or non binary. No. Yeah. Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 03:04

So you really need to think about that as a company when you are asking that information.

Isaac Cook: 03:10

Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 03:10

If you wanna be intentionally inclusive, don't ask it unless you really need it.

Isaac Cook: 03:14

Yeah. Like like, the only times I ever see it effective to get it's not even gender statistics. It's strictly sex statistics, and that would be either either you are biologically, and I mean biologically female, male, intersex, or other kind of, like, mix of what have you, would be like, for instance, for myself, like, have a heart condition, and people who have female reproductive parts are more likely to have it other than compared to people who have male reproductive parts. And it's really interesting. This is very, very science y, so I'm not gonna get too into it.

Isaac Cook: 03:52

But but since I started testosterone, it actually made my heart condition better because of how estrogen impacts my heart condition. So that's why as a trans person, I can see that there's a lot of benefits and understanding, like, the sex statistics in that, but at the same time, it needs to be meaningful. Right.

Cyn Sweeney: 04:11

Yeah. And it's like, I know for for my child, I just found out so we just got their new health card.

Isaac Cook: 04:17

Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 04:18

And I hadn't changed the gender marker on it because I didn't think we could because he was born overseas.

Isaac Cook: 04:24

Right. Right.

Cyn Sweeney: 04:25

And legally, in that country where he was born, he was born in Ireland, and you cannot change your your name and your gender marker on your birth cert there until you're 16, and you have to go to court. And yet

Isaac Cook: 04:39

Oh, yeah. Your gender for

Cyn Sweeney: 04:40

two years, and it's all this red transphobic tape. So here, though, I phoned them, and I just asked them about my options. And I said, look. We the passport has been done. Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 04:53

So that's a federal document. Wouldn't that kind of gazump a birth cert? And I said they were able to make an accommodation because legally, we could not change the birth certificate here. And they said, I don't see why not. Let me check.

Cyn Sweeney: 05:05

They got back to me, and they're like, absolutely. That should be fine. Send us in the passport

Isaac Cook: 05:10

Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 05:10

A copy, and we will update the gender marker. But then they asked me, do you want an m put on the health card, or would you like no gender marker Mhmm. Whatsoever? And it was such a tough one because I in the end, I went with the m because I know that's I think that's what he would want. Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 05:29

And I thought maybe not having a gender marker could raise more flags or questions Mhmm. If someone was looking at his ID.

Isaac Cook: 05:38

Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 05:38

But then I thought, what if you're in an emergency situation and you can't communicate? Mhmm. Is it important that they know your biological anatomy? Yeah. And could having the m perhaps cause some problems?

Isaac Cook: 05:54

Yeah. I it's such a tough topic because, like, I personally and and primarily based off of my own experience within the health care system, I see a lot more benefits to having your health card match whatever your biological makeup is. But then again, like, that also raises raises the question, like, what is biological makeup? Because you can't rely completely on hormones. You can't necessarily completely rely on, like, if you have, you know, a penis or a vagina kind of thing.

Isaac Cook: 06:26

You can't rely on those things, because not everyone is so black and white. Like, humans human bodies are different. Right. But, I mean, like, for me, for instance, like, mine still says female. I'll walk in there.

Isaac Cook: 06:39

I have, like, a beard and, like, facial hair, and they're like, okay. And, like, earlier this year, I got a hysterectomy, and I was, like, in the in the hospital, like, in the woman's ward. Like, it was it was very, you know, coded to be a female space. But I think as, like, a trans person who is kind of masculine presenting, challenging that, I find, as existing in those spaces is more it's kind of fun for me, like, if I can say in a weird way, just because it's it's helping me, like, break the stereotype that, like, this is what a woman is Okay. Proactively.

Cyn Sweeney: 07:17

So you felt comfortable in that environment even though it was essentially, like, a pink medicine environment?

Isaac Cook: 07:22

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, this is a 100% just my experience Right. Like, in no shape or form. Like, I know so many people who that would not be comfortable, and that is so valid.

Isaac Cook: 07:31

Like, for me, for instance, in my own experience, like, I found it was really, really comforting because I felt that I was a lot of the doctors there, you know, fortunately enough, were very, like, aware of who I was because I'm in and out the hospitals all the time with my freaking heart condition. But just the fact that they were, like, accommodating, and it was really nice to see that they were, like, using correct pronouns. Like, doctors would come in and ask me questions about me. Like, it was a very, like, authentic experience rather than me having to feel like I have to educate them on everything that I'm like, why I'm doing this. Right?

Cyn Sweeney: 08:05

That's great. And was that it was that at the q e two?

Isaac Cook: 08:08

Just Yeah. The q two.

Cyn Sweeney: 08:10

That's great. I think that there's so many things that are starting to get right

Isaac Cook: 08:14

Mhmm.

Cyn Sweeney: 08:14

About trans inclusive health care. Mhmm. Did you have a private room?

Isaac Cook: 08:20

I did. Yeah. I opted in. And thankfully enough, like, I I did and do have insurance at this time, so I was able to opt into that. And, I mean, I I could a 100% agree.

Isaac Cook: 08:30

It'd probably be a whole different if I had to share a room with someone because if it's a someone who's not as accepting, they're like, why the man in my room kinda thing and have those tough conversations.

Cyn Sweeney: 08:39

If they're uncomfortable, that's just gonna make you feel like, ugh.

Isaac Cook: 08:42

You know?

Cyn Sweeney: 08:42

I deserve space here too, and I can't take that on right now with everything I'm experiencing and going through.

Isaac Cook: 08:47

Yeah. So I yeah. I definitely opted in to have, like, a private room simply because, like, as you just said, like, if they're uncomfortable because of the type of person that I'm that's gonna make me uncomfortable, and it's just gonna be, like, all around, like, bad experience for everyone.

Cyn Sweeney: 09:00

So Mhmm. Yeah. Well, I'm so glad it wasn't a bad experience.

Isaac Cook: 09:04

Yeah. No. It like, genuinely, I did not have high hopes. Was gonna Yeah. Why?

Isaac Cook: 09:09

No. I wasn't. I genuinely I was like, yeah. Nope. This is probably gonna suck.

Isaac Cook: 09:13

Like, this is gonna be awful, but it was really, really great. I don't have any complaints. So, I mean, that was that was really nice at least. Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 09:24

Mhmm. So that's an interesting one then about the gender marker and that I'll have to really think about think about that. And when the next one comes up for renewal, if they don't have time, I'll let, well,

Isaac Cook: 09:33

let him decide, obviously. And I think it it really depends on the individual. Like Mhmm. Because of the type of person that I am and based on my experiences and the way that I've been able to grow and deal with transphobia, I was more comfortable doing it that way. But I think, as you said, it's really important for him to decide what he wants to do and what he feels most confident doing.

Isaac Cook: 09:59

Because I know plenty of other individuals who choose to do no gender whatsoever. I think it's an x on it.

Cyn Sweeney: 10:08

Well, on the health card, it's just nothing. Oh, really? Yeah. They don't have anything. So and maybe that is the way to go because it gives you the opportunity

Isaac Cook: 10:14

I was gonna say

Cyn Sweeney: 10:15

be asked and then to share.

Isaac Cook: 10:17

Yeah. No. I think I was gonna say because if it was an x, I would definitely for myself, I wouldn't be more inclined to do that. But if it was just completely nothing, I think that would be a better instance because then you don't have to have that conversation be like, what's your act like, they could just kind of look at you and either infer or have to ask those questions instead of, like, look at your ID and automatically start thinking, like, okay. This person's trans kinda thing.

Isaac Cook: 10:40

Or could just because Could be. Or Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 10:42

Yeah. So if you can talk, you can say, oh, I'm male. But if if they need to, they can share, but by the way, am I, you know, missing? Or if they're incapacitated and can't speak, then it does give that pause to when you know, to actually look a little bit deeper as to why there's no gender marker and Yeah. You know, make sure we're not missing anything as a matter of professional.

Isaac Cook: 11:03

If you are in the country or you are incapacitated, I I struggle to say that word. Mhmm. In the country that you have been receiving, like, trans health care, and for instance, I believe in Nova Scotia, they already have it on your health card. Like, if you swipe it, it'll have, like, notes or whatever on it. Because a lot of times I know, especially with my heart condition, they have it directly on there, so I believe they can add notes

Cyn Sweeney: 11:30

on there too

Isaac Cook: 11:31

to my knowledge.

Cyn Sweeney: 11:32

That makes sense, actually. That it's kind of like a like an alert bracelet.

Isaac Cook: 11:36

Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So if, like, for instance, they would at least I'm hoping that's a thing. I wanna believe it's a thing, but maybe I'm maybe I'm reinventing the wheel here.

Isaac Cook: 11:48

But yeah. Because if if they had something like that, that would make more sense because then an individual, if they were incapacitated, they could just go into system and be like, okay. Cool. Like, this is what this person is, and they don't have to be like, where's your health card? Or, like, where's this information?

Isaac Cook: 12:05

I I find health care systems are so backwards nowadays. Like, everything should be digitalized. Like, there's no need for us to be carrying around health cards. But

Cyn Sweeney: 12:13

No. Or having to wear a brace. Well Yeah. I guess a bracelet and

Isaac Cook: 12:16

If it is a medical alert, then yes. But yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 12:19

But for a hospital, they should have everything in their system

Isaac Cook: 12:21

Yeah.

Cyn Sweeney: 12:22

That can transfer over to any hospital that you might be or accessible.

Isaac Cook: 12:26

Yeah. Yeah. And then, I mean, in in some way, if someone is transphobic, that would all automatically be a warning sign that, like, they wouldn't wanna serve this individual. Right? And then that would wean like, make it less likely for trans folks to be associated with transphobic individuals because I think that's Mhmm.

Isaac Cook: 12:41

Probably one of the hardest things is that when you go into a hospital environment, you have to have those tough conversations. You have to out yourself pretty much immediately if it involves, you know, personal stuff. So

Cyn Sweeney: 12:53

Well, that's all the time we have today, folks. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Hey Sis. Do you have

Isaac Cook: 12:59

any questions you wanna ask or wanna join in on the conversation? Email us at connectconnect@simplygoodform.com.

Cyn Sweeney: 13:05

Thank you all and remember inclusion matters.